


In the mourning

by Sariasunshine



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 16:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7647949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariasunshine/pseuds/Sariasunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinon had never allowed himself love. Never reached out for the feeling, until Oscar fought his way into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the mourning

It was weird how life seemed to rob the world of the kindest of souls. Weird how the world kept on moving without paying grief any heed. How everything could stay so normal, despite the wrong. How much love could hurt a person. 

Why did souls connect if only to create tragedy? 

Shinon had never allowed himself love. Never reached out for the feeling, not after what had happened years ago. And though he had promised himself he had learned from that mistake, he dared lose himself once again. Not too long ago. To a person he had never considered more than an acquaintance. 

No, Shinon had to fall for Oscar. The far too kind knight. A man who, with such persistent, had pressed his way into Shinon’s life. Pushed through his walls of bitterness and gotten to know the man behind. It had frightened Shinon a whole lot, but found he didn’t much mind it after a while. Oscar was a comfortable presence. 

It wasn’t until he learnt of Kieran, that Shinon understood he had no chance. It was clear to him that this red knight was of great importance to Oscar, and so Shinon had distanced himself. Built the walls back up. 

After that he had pushed Oscar away. No matter what the other man had done, Shinon had pushed back, snapped, and in the end left. Without a word nor a trace. Never to return until years later. 

Not until Rolf appeared one day.

-

He had understood that something was off that day. The forest was quiet, too quiet. It was as if the birds were waiting for something to happen. 

People rarely, if ever, came to visit him. Something he preferred. Loneliness couldn’t hurt him after all. 

However, when Rolf, Oscar’s younger brother, suddenly stood at his doorstep, a solemn look over his face, Shinon understood something was wrong. 

He had welcomed his young ex-apprentice inside, not finding the courtesy to offer him anything. Not that he ever had the chance. And as Rolf spoke, Shinon could feel the remains of his world crumble. 

Oscar was dead. 

Killed by a disease incurable. 

Shinon had seen it coming. Had understood by Oscar’s frequent illnesses that one day, medicine wouldn’t be enough. 

And for the very first time, it was Shinon who needed comfort. Shinon had cried, cried from the sorrow. From the anger he carried towards himself. And Rolf had held him. 

-

Together they had travelled to pay their respect. 

It was silent at the cemetery. Only the soft wind gently whistling between the gravestones. 

At the very end, by a tree, stood a cross. 

For a moment Shinon stood frozen, simply staring in disbelief, but a gently push against his back had him move. 

His steps unhurried, almost hesitant as he slowly moved towards the grave. 

Once before the grave, Shinon froze again. This time his eyes had settled on the name. 

As he heard Rolf leave, Shinon collapsed. His knees giving under and he knelt down before the cross. Once again he found tears threatening his vision but he did nothing to stop them, and allowed himself to mourn. 

The blame was overwhelming. What if he had stayed? Would the outcome have been any different? That he would never know. 

His words were silent as he uttered broken apologizes. 

What if he had stayed?

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem is fun right??? (((: 
> 
> I love Shinon with all my heart, he is my biggest problematic fav. Thanks to a friend of mine, this idea has been settling in my for a while now. Gotta love the angst.


End file.
